You can’t choose who you are attracted to.
You can’t engineer or will a relationship into existence.
BUT you can navigate a relationship. At least that’s what I believe. Granted, I also believe in Jesus and one might call that bad judgement based on all the non-existing facts and figures and shit. But that’s entirely besides the point right now.
Imagine you are dating this guy. We all are at some point in our lives (except for lesbians, but I don’t know squat about that pond of water with plenty of fancy fish in it, sorry). He’s tall, or tiny- if you prefer him that way- and your mum would love him almost as much as your grandma would, would you introduce him to them. His dick is bigger than his nose and he’s got a sharp jaw line and a curvy-in-the-right-places-Cornetto-cut your legs get all wobbly for. He’s fit and fine, has a job that pays the bills and a good taste in clothes and women- I mean, hey- he’s dating you, right? and you like him. A lot.
Everything is going well and you are positive that this is not just a sex-thing, but while he is not appalled by calling what is going on between you two -dating- he is very much trying to avoid commitment in any other form. Whenever you are trying to talk with him about how you two will handle the next couple of months, where your or his career choices are going to drag you, he just casually kisses you on the mouth, strokes your hair and in this raspy- „I have definitely smoked too many cigarettes when it was still cool to unnecessarily sabotage your perfectly healthy body with nicotine“-voice says these seven words: „Let’s just see where things are going.“ Maybe adding a softening but totally rhetorical „Shall we?“ afterwards.
This leaves you a little sad and disheartened and I am here to tell you that that is a totally normal reaction.
Fuck this „Let’s just see where things are going.“
They are going into the direction we want them to go. Into the direction we are going. And my way? Is gonna be straight out the door when you hit me with bs like that.